The comfort food of all comfort foods – MAC N’ “CHEESE” Made with veggies!!

I have tried other “cheese” sauces and none have measured up to this!

With any new recipe you try, you always have your doubts. Like half way through the mashing, you wonder if this entire tub of “cheese” sauce will taste like cat piss glue or like actual gooey queso.

I can solemnly swear to you, with both pinkies, that this cheese sauce, when made as directed, tastes no where near cat piss glue!

Recipe: Veggies Don’t Bite ~ Cook Time: 25 min ~ Total Time: 35 min ~ Serves: 4 C of damn good cheese

**Edibles Needed**

*** 3 medium red potatoes (the little round chodey ones)

*** 1/3 medium red bell pepper

*** 2  carrots (Bugs Bunny worthy carrots)

*** 1/2 small sweet onion (we used yellow)

*** 4 good sized garlic cloves (you will need to roast little suckers)

*** 1/2 C raw cashews (boiled or soaked overnight – we boiled them for 30 min!)

*** 1 teaspoon lemon juice

*** 3/4 teaspoon chickpea miso (I had no idea wtf this was or where to find it so we used seasoned soybean paste – found in the Oriental aisle of your local supermarket OR use white miso – you’re welcome)

*** 1/2 teaspoon mustard seed powder (recommend getting this in the bulk seasonings area of the store so you can gather like a Tablespoon and scram with a $$ steal)

*** 1/2 teaspoon paprika

*** 1-1/2 teaspoons Himalayan Pink Salt (sounds fancy – looks fancy – probably IS fancy, but also found at most stores near the regular salt and pepper)

*** (1) 16oz bag of your fave mac n cheese noodles! (We use brown rice or a quinoa based elbow mac!)


**Additional Fabulous Edible Toppings**

Why not treat your mac like a sundae & throw some scrumptious goods on top!

** broccoli ** green chiles ** panko crumbs ** hot sauce ** truffle oil ** coconut bacon (yes it exists!)**

STOP!! Turn your John Legend mac n cheese music down & turn your oven up to 400 degrees – begin to boil 1 saucepan of water – 1 big ol’ party pot of water & grab yo foil cuz sh*ts about to go DOWN!!

**How to Produce Deliciousness**

#1 – Oven time! Grab the garlic – peel those 4 little cloves – place them in foil & throw a splash of vodka… I mean veggie broth (or water!), in the foil & toss that foil ball in the oven like you were tossin’ your cat’s hairball into the trash! Your cloves are now bathing & singing glorious roasting hymns for 20-25 minutes until they start browning.

#2 – If you did not soak your cashews overnight like a good little mac n cheese chef, than you will have to do what I did! Remember that small saucepan? You’re going to throw the 1/2 C of cashews into that beautiful boiling water for 30 min, covered, to soften them.

Hint: Keep the cashew water!! –

#3 – Grab your 3 single (eligible bachelor) potatoes (Keep the skin ON – the pot calls for PG potatoes – not PG13!) You still have 1 big ol’ party pot ready to be used, so throw those clothed potatoes in there! – But wait! There’s more! – Your diced, chopped, or sliced (1/3) bell pepper & (1/2) onion want to join the party pot! LET THEM IN! They will party for 25 min or until the potatoes skin-clothes begin to “fall” off. The potatoes might also have side effects of tenderness, squishiness, or forkability.

Stove Top Addition: Those macaroni noodles ain’t going to boil themselves…

now’s about the time you start to boil those babies! –


STOP! Do you still hear the savory hymns of the garlic in the oven? For God’s sake take them out already!

#4 – Throw the drunk potatoes in that mixing bowl your Mom gave you OR in your high speed blender you received as a gift from your first marriage. Now either with your hand blender, your fist, or your high speed blender, mix those forkable f*ckers up until they are of a gooey splooge-like consistency. Again, the rest of the party is waiting in the party pot, so floop in your slurring red bells & your now offensive onion & mix them all together into a creamy party fusion!


#5 – The remainder of the ingredients that were not invited to the pre-party are now invited to the after party! This party is better anyways… Now blend that party up until it is a creamy concoction of happy orange/yellow cheesiness!

Hint: Remember that cashew water I told you to save? If your cheese is too thick,

add in the water little by little until that cheese is flipping perfect!! –

#6 – Add splashes of the cashew water in until your favorite cheesy consistency is reached. Then strain those fabulous macaroni noodles & stir that cheese in there!! Now take a bite & melt into your childhood memories….

Mac N'

So now as you’re licking the last drizzle of sauce at the bottom of your bowl, you’re feeling guilt right…??

Mac n cheese is mac n cheese right? No girlfriend…no no….

**Nutritional Facts**

(Based on about 8 bowls of cheesy obsession)

This Mac N’ “Cheese” is chalked FULL of happy healthy goodness!!!

  • 230 Calories
  • 3g Fat
  • 0mg Cholesterol
  • 150mg Sodium
  • 175mg Potassium
  • 45g Carbohydrates
  • 7g Fiber
  • 2g Sugar
  • 9g Protein
  • 55% VItamin A
  • 80% Vitamin C
  • 20% Iron

Compared to….

Regular Homemade Mac N Cheese

**Nutritional Facts**

  • 350 Calories
  • 20g Fat
  • 55mg Cholesterol
  • 1050 Sodium
  • 200mg Potassium
  • 50g Carbohydrates
  • 1g Fiber
  • 6g Sugar
  • 9g Protein
  • 3% Vitamin A
  • 0% Vitamin C
  • 7% Iron

**Cost Analysis**

Total ingredients cost $8.30 with approximately 12 servings (we added to the recipe) = $.69/bowl!!!

I hope you enjoyed creating & eating Mac & “Cheese”!

Thanks for reading & stay tuned for my next food experiment!

Daily Words of Happy:

“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference & you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” – Jane Goodall

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